The Youth of Old Age

I love January. Sweep away the Christmas sweets; break out the citrus and kale. Clear out the mess of tinsel and enjoy the bare tree for one last day. Back to the gym, back to feeling clean and spent instead of stuffed and indulged.

And there are two particular special days in this month: little Nora turned ten, enjoying the last bit of childhood before adolescence sneaks in and steals away her squeaky voice and chubby cheeks. And I turned fifty today. No regrets, remember? It's a day of joy. I am enjoying a privilege not given to all.

Victor Hugo called fifty "the youth of old age" and Randy and I kicked up our heels like kids in Mexico to celebrate last weekend. I sobbed as we drove away from the girls the first morning and I missed them more painfully than I had anticipated. But the sun was a balm and dancing in the town square and hiking in the hills worked their healing magic.

"I'm gonna live every day until I die" sang the rock star at the Todos Santos Music Fest and if that isn't the best idea ever, I don't know what is.

Happy New Year

I love a happy accident so when I turned on the car radio today on the way to the forest preserve and heard Edith Piaf's "Je ne regrette rien" I had to smile because "No regrets" was the resolution I had written down on a big pad of scratch paper not an hour earlier.

(Nora wrote "Butts" as her resolution, and then added it again and again all over the paper. Like most moms, I am so often the straight man in the family joke. Don't mind it today; we had a fun party last night with dear friends until late and I'm tired today, taking the path of least resistance, just grateful for an easy recovery day.)

In the car I smiled at the thrilling sound of Piaf's trill and then I had to cry some because, you know, emotion.



For a very long time I did not share the sentiment of this beautiful old song, willfully misunderstanding, perhaps, when I complained, "how can anyone live without regrets? Everyone does stuff that they are sorry for!"

Today I am embracing it fully. The perception shift is about acceptance and forgiveness and extending the courtesy to myself as well as others. We all make mistakes and I will continue to bumble and stumble through this life, world willing, in 2015 hopefully with a softer view, a gentler touch.

Happy New Year, dear readers. Warmest wishes for a healthy and happy 2015. Much love.