A Coupla Comediennes

After the Japanese BBQ shrimp and s'mores tonight, Mia announces, "I've seen two people with big black earrings and giant holes in their ears!"

"Uck," I say. "Was one of them that guy who works at the ice cream store?"

"Yeah," says my eight year old Janeane Garofalo. "He was talking to me, but all I could hear was EAR EAR EAR EAR! He was saying, 'do you want strawberry?' but it sounded like 'do you want straw-EAR-berry?' I was looking at his face but all I could see was a great big EAR!"

***

Randy and I are talking Bill O'Reilly on the drive home and Nora asks, "Who's that?"

"The rudest man in the world," I tell her. "He asks the President a question, Mr. Obama starts to answer and Bill O'Reilly interrupts him to contradict. He wasn't even listening. He asks another question and Mr. Obama smiles and tries to answer and he interrupts him again! Incredibly rude."

Nora asks, "Did he burp?"

***

A couple of minutes later, she is dancing in her booster seat with a panicked grimace on her face. Our kindergartener has got Carole Lombard's white curls as well as her frenzy.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom, Nora?" asks Daddy.

"Yes!"

"Okay, hold on, we'll find a place and pull over."

A few blocks later, we're turning into the gas station and Nora says, "Don't fall asleep! Don't fall asleep! Don't fall asleep!"

Randy and I are exchanging looks, then she adds, "You might have a pee pee dream!"

Oh. Got it.